just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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