Only a mothe r could love this liver
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
