when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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