not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
