I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she smelled like a LAN party
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
