Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
