she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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