Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
only you would photoshop your dick
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
