i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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