i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
