Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
