i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
