Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
