I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
