it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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