He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
