he shaved USA in his pubs
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
