I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
