chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
