So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
