i barfeds in our rink
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
