At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
