No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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