ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
