may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
