Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
