I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
