either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
