i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
