So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
