Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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