the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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