did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
