I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
