I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
