i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
