Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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