I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
everyone is single if you try hard enough
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
