and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
