I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
