I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
then he tried to convert me to islam
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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