We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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