he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
