literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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