Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
