Im at strip club and am horny
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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