she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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