I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
