you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
