We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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