I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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