Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
