Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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