I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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