office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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