this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish I only lived at night.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
