DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
