He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
