words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
