I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
